Life... It goes on...

I've had a pretty shitty few days. 

Whilst trying my best not to moan to anybody, I've actually managed to silently implode. 

Now I have a war going on inside my head that not even the closest people to me, know anything about. 

I feel so frustrated & stressed, at such a dead-end & trapped. 

I wish I could just disappear. I don't think it would make a difference to many people. 

The annoying thing is that whilst I am writing this. I am overly aware of how many "I's" and "me's" are being written. It makes me feel so self absorbed, whiny & selfish. I start thinking "who the hell are you and why do you feel you have the right to moan?!" 

Why does my brain do that to itself?! Why do I listen to everybody's problems over and over, no matter how minuscule & stupid & try to help everybody out, yet I don't listen to my own body when I'm hurting? 

That's not right... 

I feel like my world is crumbling around me, I can't explain to anybody why I feel like it and nobody understands. 

If people don't understand, they try to tell you how you feel or make it about them...

On second thoughts, maybe there's a reason I don't tell anybody how I feel.

I have a day off work tomorrow that will probably consist of sleeping, food and television. Maybe I'll turn my phone off, other people's whining won't be my problem. Work won't be my problem.

Well... Chin up eh...

 

The best birthday ever!

My birthday is not my favourite time of year. 

Suffice to say I was not looking forward to it this week....

I was worried about being ill for my birthday and ruining it for the people who wanted to spend it with me. 

My general feeling is that it puts pressure on me to be in an overly good mood (like at my age I should be thrilled to be getting older?!) regardless of how I'm feeling. 

The people who love me enjoy my birthday as much as I enjoy theirs but I feel stressed at the thought of not being in control of the plans & presents. The anxiety of not liking something that somebody else has arranged or gifted also panics me. 

I'd hate for somebody to go to a lot of effort and then for me to ruin it by hating it all!

On that note...

...Fast forward to Wednesday February 4th 2015...

I wake up at boyf's house, surrounded by purple (my favourite colour) glittery presents and a ginormous birthday card! 

He disappears downstairs and returns singing "happy birthday", holding a chocolate cake! <3 such a sweetheart!

 

I carefully peel open my shiny pressies (the paper is too pretty to tear!). They include various Bare Minerals skincare products, 2 boxes of my favourite Lindt luxury chocolate selection, a gorgeous little penguin Pandora charm & a gift voucher for Lush! 

Perfect presents for me!

We then nip to Starbucks for breakfast; a latte & a nutella cookie! :D nom!

Afterwards, we go to my Dad's house, where I find a beautiful bouquet of pink roses & lillies from my Mum, ANOTHER huge chocolate birthday cake on the coffee table, a "birthday girl" banner across the ceiling, pretty, pink wrapped presents & a moo cow card from my Dad.

Pressies from my Dad include the Urban Decay Naked2 palette & a yummy smelling reed diffuser! 

Boyf then informs me of my biggest birthday surprise...

He has booked us a table at Donatellos restaurant in Brighton (my favourite) & invited my Mum & brothers to have a birthday dinner all together! So unbelievably happy! 

We have a typical crazy family time with my Mum & i giggling like a pair of idiots and cracking rubbish jokes and one liners to each other whilst the rest of the table (and probably restaurant, maybe the rest of Brighton/Sussex/the world) cringe. I LOVE seeing my brothers and am so thrilled that they are at my birthday meal... 

...Boyf & I got back home super late and had to work early the next morning so that was a pain but this year's birthday was absolutely perfect in every single way and I felt like a spoilt princess! 

I was made to feel so special & loved by all those around me & it was by far the best birthday I have had for years! There was no pressure or anxiety & I was naturally in a great mood all day, being showered with love and affection. I couldn't have asked for anything more, nor thought of anything to improve it.

The day after my birthday, my Dad & I went for a Nandos in Reading, just him & me (since he didn't get a look in on the day haha!) it was lovely to spend some quality time with my Fruit Jar & he took his first selfie of us together lol! We then went back to his place and I made him sing "Happy Birthday" so I could blow out the candles on the cake he had gotten me haha! 

It was such a lovely couple of days. :)

It will be seriously hard to top this birthday next year. 

But I have every faith my man will be able to achieve it in some way or another. 

I feel so grateful that he went to so much effort to make the day wonderful just for me. 

To those who speculate, this is why Boyf and I are together. We love each other endlessly. We fight, we row & we scream. But we love just as passionately and that is what I live for. Behind closed doors & all that...

He is so loving, affectionate & thoughtful. 

It's him & me, against the world :)

Content & lemony

Yet another bath post. I sense a pattern emerging in this blog.

One more penchant of mine is that I love things that smell great: candles, incense, perfume, food, toiletries & of course bath bombs! 

Now, I adore Lush! I cannot simply walk past this particular shop without being seduced by its heady fragrance & floating in on a wave of organic scents (like Tom & Jerry with freshly baked pies on windowsills).

So, being ill, I of course asked a couple of well wishing & well informed friends if there were any homeopathic remedies I could use to perk myself up a bit as the regular paracetamol & ibuprofen mix wasn't working. 

I was given some brilliant ideas, one of which was to pick up an Avobath bath bomb. 

Well!! This advice I took very seriously, if I'm poorly and this bath bomb will make me feel better I MUST purchase it!!! For my health you know! 

Teehee...

I am now laying in a witches brew green bath (cauldron), smelling of heavenly lemongrass. I was a bit worried at first as lemongrass is a hot oil and using it in the bath can burn your skin, but this is mixed with avocado oil and so you get that rich, sharp lemongrass scent but with baby soft, soothed skin from the avocado. 

As a little treat, there are also tiny shimmers in the bath, which unfortunately, I couldn't pick up on the camera. :( 

I am feeling pampered & warm and my sinuses are clearing nicely. I am a happy bunny. 

Another piece of advice I was given was to drink honey, lemon & cayenne pepper tea, so guess what I'm doing whilst laying in my witches brew... 

All senses are content at the moment. 

I have also brought in 2 oranges, along with a bottle of water and the box of tissues! Haha! 

My Dad may be hard pressed to remove me from the bathroom today!! 

Hmm but I'm starting to feel hungry so... 

Nah, food can wait. I'm happy. 

You can buy your very own Avobath here: https://www.lush.co.uk/products/avobath

 

Lazy Day, random thoughts...

Today I had what is referred to in the retail world as a miracle: a Saturday off work! 

Good job as well, The rest time is definitely needed. I'm not feeling any worse today but don't know if that's a good or bad sign... 

Pretty much spent the day on the sofa in another soft blanket that Boyf got for me LAST Christmas (I have a serious penchant for soft things: blankets, socks, pyjamas, teddies etc Boyf coincidently shares this obsession, there's every possibilty that we may have a problem)!

Also, every week I buy breakfast bars to take to work and today I thought "why am I spending this money?" So I made 'strawberry breakfast flapjacks'.. Well, it's not like I had anything better to be doing! 

It's pretty much oats, a little butter for colour, honey & an egg to bind it all together, laid on a baking tray with strawberry jam smothered all over, covered with another layer of the oat mixture, lightly dusted with caster sugar and baked in a medium oven for half an hour or until the oats become golden brown. 

Not a strenuous or complicated 'recipe' by any stretch of the imagination but yummy nonetheless! 

Maybe next time I could squish a banana into the base layer of oats... Mmmm bananas and honey!  

So let's see how that's going to taste with my morning Starbucks tomorrow morning. 

One of the worst things about being poorly is that you have to stay warm & rest. It makes me stir crazy! I want to get out the house! But know that if I'd gone out today, I'd have over stretched myself and probably wouldn't be able to work tomorrow. Although whilst at work in the morning, today's sofa snoozing will be  appreciated as I will be longing for it haha!

So now I'm in a yummy bubble bath, waiting on Fruit Jar (Dad) to cook a meatball bolegnese! Can't wait! Going to need hot sauce in mine though - clear these air ways! 

After dinner will be my favourite part of today though, Boyf is coming to collect me for a night of snugs, hot chocolate & Celebrity Big Brother!!!!! 

As a side note, I can't wait to get my crosstrainer over to my place, it's sending me loopy not being able to go on it every night!!

Waaaah!!!!!

Spent the whole day in bed today having caught my Dad's cold! >_< 

I'm trying to nip it in the bud before it gets too bad as I don't want to take any time off work. 

So I'm eating lots of Manuka honey, fruit & veg, staying warm, getting lots of rest and of course dosing up with paracetamol & ibuprofen. 

What would be perfect right now is a Lush bath bomb bath... The Christmas Eve bubble bar would be SOOO amazing! But I'd have to go over to my Dad's to have a bath and I don't want to pick up any more of his infectious germs lol! 

Instead, I'm curled up on my bed in my enormous, soft moo cow blanket that Boyf got me for Christmas watching Come Dine With Me. 

Rock star lifestyle or what?! - don't be jel haha! 

I'm gonna go feel sorry for myself some more now... :((

Long time, no see!

Wow, forgot about this blog! It popped up on my favourites and I thought, hey, let's have a look! 

So much has changed since I last posted in 2010! 

My life has had a total 180!!! 

I've been working for The Perfume Shop for what will be a year on 2nd February. I've been striving to work for this company since I was 16 and finally got in - straight in at management level too haha! 

I'm comfortable with the amount of responsibility I have on my shoulders and it's a very good stepping stone for moving up within the company or moving on to another. 

My LinkedIn is always blowing up with offers for interviews with other companies so I can't be in a bad position. :) Good Times! 

My personal life is entirely different too! I rent a room in a house a couple of roads down from my Dad. It sounds pointless but it's nice to have a little place that's just for me - my little sanctuary where nobody can stress me out. I can watch what I like on tv, I can eat what I want, I can pluck my eyebrows, paint my nails, do facemasks, have an early night, a late night - ANYTHING I WANT!!!! and nobody can say otherwise! Mwahahaha!!! 

I enjoy going to my Dad's for dinner a couple of nights a week and staying at my boyfriend's house but it's nice to have my little place - it's like the place I keep my sanity, and when everything feels crazy, I can go back to my cocoon and it's alright again...

So essentially, I pay to stay sane each month! Good investment I say! 

I'm about to turn 27 which is... Nice... :/ 

Things are clicking into place nicely at the moment though so I'm hoping my life is going to plan for once. 

I have a gorgeous boyfriend - although we do row lol (what couple doesn't), we love each other more than anything in the world. Sometimes I think that might be why we argue. We're both arguing for the relationship but we're fighting each other instead of everything else. It's healthy to a point though, it means we're communicating - but Lord he knows how to push my buttons haha! 

We'd do anything for each other and I know it's him & I against the world, we just have to find that balance so we don't actually forsake the world and live in our own little bubble haha! <3

We are looking forward to our 5th consecutive visit to Cyprus this year, so we are living frugally to save as much as we can as fast as we can (whilst also saving for a mortgage deposit).

I can't wait for summer - I'm bloody cold! 

So that's how things are currently shaping up for me. 

Hopefully I won't forget about this blog and will post again in the near future. I'm not bothered whether it's read by anybody besides me, it's nice to see for myself how far I have come in 4 years! 

Crimbo

So... That's Christmas out of the way for another year. Back to work tomorrow... Christmas day was family, I fell asleep about half 5 - oops! Woke up just as boyfriend was putting dinner on the table, bless him, he'd cooked the whole thing himself, it was sooo yummy!! Fell asleep again and woke up at half 8 then had some dessert and went to bed at half 10! - LIGHT WEIGHT!!!

Boxing day - stayed in, muched about with presents and did the washing up.

Today - Went into town and got the links taken out of boyfriend's watch, did a little after Christmas shopping, ie bread, milk, cereals.
Watching Casper at the moment, finished all the washing up, work clothes all clean and dried, another load of laundry on and soon I'll jump in the bath then go to bed... What fun...

Boyfriend and I are going to sign up to the gym in January. Free to me cuz I work there - boo ya!
Hopefully going to start skiing and snowboarding lessons too!

Anyway, I'm being moaned at for being on the computer and not watching Casper so must dash!

Smelly Christmas and a Crappy new year!!