So things are looking up BIG TIME!
I'm on the second week of my Bookkeeping course and I'm actually understanding what's happening! I'm really enjoying learning new skills!
I had my first interview for an accounts based role.
I'm used to "selling" myself for a retail position so this was well out of my comfort zone but I must have done something right as they offered me to job!!! 2 weeks to go!!
I am so excited to take another step in my new venture! I feel like things are beginning to click into place for me now!
2 weeks ago I joined my local gym.
My anxiety and social anxiety were so acute and it was getting worse and worse, so I thought I'd muster up some serious courage and attempt to help myself...
2 weeks later, I'm feeling more confident, I'm feeling productive, positive, healthy, I have a reason to leave the house and a new hobby!
I've even been up there 3 times without my gym buddy! For me - this is huge!
My self confidence has never allowed me to do anything like this!
Working out and sweating etc has always felt like a really personal thing for me and doesn't belong in a public place - my instinct is to make myself small and unnoticeable (hands in my sleeves, sunglasses, crossed legs & arms etc) in a situation where I don't feel confident,
i.e. wearing no makeup, baggy clothes, hair a mess.
It's not how I wish to represent myself to the world.
But I have to conciously tell myself that everybody who goes to the gym goes there for the same reason, it's not a fashion show, it's a health benefit.
It's working! I put my headphones on, I set up the machine and I shut out the world! I don't care what anybody else is doing - I do what I'm there to do! It feels great! I feel so empowered!
That's a strong and possibly over the top word to use, I know.. But this is a really big deal for me - I can't even sit in a coffee shop and drink coffee alone for fear of looking like I'm waiting for somebody who never turns up!
Now I've got all my excess thoughts out of my brain and onto the Internet (lol) I'm going to beeeeed!
Night night!
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