We've all done it...

...Been a dick to the wrong person when they didn't deserve it. 

Thing is, at the time, we think our words are well-founded & deserved. Then afterwards we're angry. We're angry because we rowed with our friend, because they were mean to us and because they wouldn't accept what we said to them. 

But then somebody gives us some perspective on the situation...

We realise, that we don't have to speak out on every thought we have. Our ideas on right & wrong, acceptable & unacceptable behaviours are not the same as somebody else's ideas & everybody's moral compass is different. It doesn't mean anybody is wrong or right or better than anybody else. 

It simply means that we are human. We all have the right to behave however we want (within reason) without judgement. Especially from those we care about and who care about us.

If we are worried about somebody's behaviour, there are good and bad ways to approach the situation. 

Sometimes, the situation is too sensitive & too raw to be approached & somebody is just having a rough time. By bringing it up, we are throwing it in their face & making them feel bad about themself for actions that we deem unacceptable.

But what makes us the law on what is acceptable. We have all had experiences that have changed us, whether temporarily or permanently. But we were allowed to transition without disturbance. We must allow others the same courtesy. Once they have come through their experience, then we must be there to catch them if they fall, pick up the broken pieces or just to listen as they retrace their steps & to hold them, physically or mentally, and bring them back together to become whole again.

By picking on somebody's actions when they are in a bad place, we are not helping, we are becoming part of the problem and putting them in a worse place by making them feel attacked by those they trusted. It is patronising & small minded to believe that what we are saying is helpful & all we will do is push the person away. 

Maybe we were in a bad place too, when we said those things, made those judgements. Which makes our behaviour as unacceptable as we accused theirs of being. This attack was not about their behaviour but more about our state of mind & ability to cope, we made it about them so we didn't have to look in the mirror.

This is our problem, not their problem & friends should stick together & not fight against each other when we are both in a bad place. 

I would like to apologise to my friend. 

I am sorry. 

I have learnt from my poor behaviour. X